There is no greater joy than being a mother for me. That's not to say motherhood doesn't have its challenges because it does at every stage of development. Parenting can be just as stressful as it is rewarding. Think about the role and work of a mother. We start sacrificing for our children from pregnancy, sometimes before if you're a mom like me that had to go through fertility treatment to get pregnant. Once we find out we're pregnant, we share our bodies with a little human for 9 months. The baby runs the show and we have no control over what they're doing in there. We just want them to arrive happy and healthy. For the mothers that chose adoption, I acknowledge your love from the inception of your relationship with your child. I have family members and friends that have adopted children and they couldn't love their children anymore had they given birth to them. Mothering and nurturing aren't explicit to blood relationship. It's the ability to be open and give love unconditionally.
I've been blessed with a wonderful mom, she's given me and my siblings the best parts of herself, after that, it was our job to decide who we wanted to become. Mother-daughter relationships can be complicated, mine has its bruised history. In the past, my mother and I have had times when our relationship was strained. But nothing helped me become more understanding of how difficult parenting is until I became a parent.
I let go of judgment and saw my mom as a young woman who was trying to do the best she could. She made mistakes along the way but I stopped holding her hostage in my heart to the expectations I had in my head. I asked her forgiveness for my judgment and that freed me. That has helped me become a better mother to my son and my mom and I have developed a stronger relationship.
I've also been fortunate to have been mothered and nurtured by my village; my grandparents, aunts, bonus mom, my friends' mothers, mother in law and even church mothers have stepped in at different points of my life. They've helped me on my journey from childhood through womanhood into motherhood and I'm still learning. I've been grown and on my own my entire adult life. I still call my parents to ask them how to do things or for their insight and direction. I'm thankful that my mother and father are both still here but May is about the mothers. The truth is every day is mother's day and any day is a good day to celebrate mom. I'd argue that once we have children, there isn't one responsibility more important than raising them, we're shaping lives. All the accolades in the world could never trump the eternal bond I have with my son or my desire to see him grow to become a productive member of society in his own way. Nothing is more important to me than that.
On this Mother's day weekend, I'm sending a virtual salute to mothers and all those that have mothered and nurtured children that aren't biologically their own but are shaping lives out of love. Happy Mother's Day!
How do you honor the mothers in your life? I'd love to hear about it.
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