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Testing Positive, Another 2020 interruption

Dear family and friends, for almost 2 months I have been trying to figure out if I would share this information with you. I couldn't text it and believe me, I tried. The right wording evaded me each time and my nerves got the best of me during phone conversations so I stayed cool and kept it moving never mentioning it. I retreated to my safe place where I can be my most honest and vulnerable self, other than with God and my husband that's my journal. Those thoughts have become this blog post.

I've grappled with whether it was worth it for me to be honest and transparent about this or would it be oversharing? After all, the intention of my blog is to share, inform, uplift, and offer a perspective from my life experiences primarily to empower my community, and secondly to anyone else that finds the information helpful, thought-provoking or engaging.

I've spent 2020 like most of you being cautious and careful not to catch or transmit COVID- 19. Up to this point, as far as I know, I've been successful so imagine how completely caught off guard I was after a routine mammogram and subsequent biopsy revealed I tested positive for breast cancer.

I was in shock and I'm still trying to process this diagnosis even as I write. It's a major interruption. As a wife, mother, working woman, blogger, the stress of this pandemic, and everything happening in the world, as if I'm not managing enough now I have to manage this. It has become more real to me with every doctor's appointment. I had no symptoms, no pain, and no immediate family (mother, father, siblings, aunts, or uncles) with a history of breast cancer. Truthfully I didn't know much about it outside of the necessary annual screening and the color pink. My paternal grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer well into her 70's and after treatment, it remained in remission. I'm in my early 40's and overall in great health. My mother is a colon cancer survivor and she has remained in remission for over 10 years. Because of that, colon cancer screening was on my radar.

I've learned that you may be more genetically predisposed to certain types of cancer if your parents have it and if you carry certain genes. Genetic testing can get deep and I won't get into that but my test results didn't show that I was genetically predisposed to other types of cancer. That was a relief. Although my grandmother had breast cancer it didn't make me more genetically predisposed to it because my father didn't have it. The point is you just never know. It's better to be proactive with your health than reactive.

So why am I sharing this? I mean, this is a private matter, right? Why would I put my personal business out there like this? Well as black people, a lot of times we don't share information the way I wish we would. Especially when it comes to our health and our people suffer in silence thinking they're alone or weak if they ask for help. I agree that everything doesn't have to be shared but I see this as an opportunity to offer another perspective. I may help save the life of someone I love or someone I have never met by sharing my ugly messy truth.

I want you to know that I’m fine. I'm not afraid or sad and I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm not wondering why me, I'm a fighter and in good spirit. Early detection is key. I have stage 1 breast cancer which is treatable. I'll have to undergo a lumpectomy in 2 weeks. With that being said, I don't know what the days ahead will look and feel like. I'm strong today but there may be days I need words of encouragement, extra prayer, an errand run, a delivered meal, text, or phone call to keep my spirits up or it could be my husband and my son that need the support. Nothing ever prepares you for this kind of news. I apologize if anyone feels a way for finding out like this but it's a lot to carry. I wanted to present it on my own terms with facts and context without invoking fear.

If you take anything away from this post, take care of yourself, and don't let the pandemic cause you to put off making those doctor's appointments for preventive care, regardless of the type of preventive care. It all matters. We can't take care of anyone else If we aren't taking care of ourselves.

I believe God has got me, always! I trust my doctors and I'm doing my part. I'll be just fine. Love you all!


4 Comments


Khisha 'Latch Khi Queen'
Khisha 'Latch Khi Queen'
Nov 20, 2020

Thank you ladies for your words of encouragement. It's been an emotional week but telling my story has given me some relief. I'm still processing this day by day. I'm confident God's going to bring me through. I appreciate the love. ❤🤗🙏🏽

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marlohgp
Nov 19, 2020

I am so sorry to hear this! I have always seen you as a strong woman of faith! You are a brave woman of God and I stand with you and pray for your complete healing!! God is faithful to his people... thankful for early detection! I absolutely will continue to pray for you and your family! Proverbs 4: 20-22 " Gods words brings life to those who find them and healing to their whole body"! Praying that as you read and hear God's word that it would be medicine to your very flesh! God Bless you and keep you Love! Love, Marlo

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Twana Burnette
Twana Burnette
Nov 18, 2020

My dearest of friends I commend you for sharing your truth with the world. You said it best you are a fighter and God has got you today, tomorrow and for eternity. I agree that we as African Americans need to learn to stop hiding behind our truth. We never know who is watching us and needs to hear our story, see our strength, struggles, growth and victory. Again thank you and love you sister friend

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Grinda Fleshman
Grinda Fleshman
Nov 17, 2020

Thank you for sharing your intimate thoughts of yourself. Is not easy but I know it will definitely help others. Love you.

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